I really want to play SpellJammer one day

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 SpellJammer is back - link to tweet (and somewhat crappy video)

Rutibex posted:

Spelljammer has its own issues as a D&D setting. I've honestly never got it to work as well as a grounded campaign. Giving the PCs a spaceship and access to the whole world really limits what you can do with logistics and random encounters and dungeons.

What on Toril are you talking about!? Spelljammers work the same way as the Enterprise does in Star Trek: It moves at the speed of plot. Like every other vessel or mode of transport in any story ever.

First - listen to this music -

On Noes! The Space Dragon has attacked! We must stop to repair our ship at this island/asteroid/dead space titan/Where the fuck are we today. Now our party of Elf 18th century Elven Imperial Royal Navy Hornblower, Late 19th century Hippo with a Maxim Gun, Halfling castaway whose most certainly not a cannibal and some human not being Johnny Depp must band together and rescue the native princess from a Xenomorph-Space-Hamster in Not-Stevastopol-Station! And they need to put the Xenomorph in a museum run by a 10,000 old Lich who likes collecting things to stop the not-nazi Space Orks from getting it first!


And it both starts AND ends at a cliffhanger every time.

Ospray Games, are you ok?

I ordered an army book for the British Army Bolt Action list and every second page was white. They sent a replacement.

I ordered a book on Infantry anti-tank tactics and they sent it with the cover of Battalion and Company level infantry tactics but the book inside is the right one.


I feel like this is the start of a stand up comedy routine or I need to be able to read the secret messages someone is trying to smuggle through customs and I've been mixed up with someone else.

The bottom fell off

 

Written by NihilCredo posted: on the Something Awful forums. Based on the classic Clark and Dawe sketch. Discussing the loss of the Russian cruiser Moskva:

[Dimtry Peskov:] It's a great pleasure, thank you.

[Interviewer:] This warship that was involved in the incident off Odessa this week...

[Dimtry Peskov:] Yeah, the one the bottom fell off?

[Interviewer:] Yeah

[Dimtry Peskov:] That's not very typical, I'd like to make that point.

[Interviewer:] Well, how is it untypical?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, there are a lot of these warships going around the world all the time, and very seldom does anything like this happen ... I just don't want people thinking that cruisers aren't safe.

[Interviewer:] Was this cruiser safe?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well I was thinking more about the other ones...

[Interviewer:] The ones that are safe...

[Dimtry Peskov:] Yeah... the ones the bottom doesn't fall off.

[Interviewer:] Well, if this wasn't safe, why did it have 8,000 tonnes of missiles on it?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, I'm not saying it wasn't safe, it's just perhaps not quite as safe as some of the other ones.

[Interviewer:] Why?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, some of them are built so the bottom doesn't fall off at all.

[Interviewer:] Wasn't this built so the bottom wouldn't fall off?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, obviously not.

[Interviewer:] How do you know?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, ‘cause the bottom fell off, and 8,000 tons of missiles exploded, caught fire. It's a bit of a give-away. I would just like to make the point that that is not normal.

[Interviewer:] Well, what sort of standards are these missile cruisers built to?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Oh, very rigorous ... maritime engineering standards.

[Interviewer:] What sort of things?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well the bottom's not supposed to fall off, for a start.

[Interviewer:] And what other things?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, there are ... regulations governing the materials they can be made of

[Interviewer:] What materials?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, cardboard's out

[Interviewer:] And?

[Dimtry Peskov:] ... No cardboard derivatives...

[Interviewer:] Like paper?

[Dimtry Peskov:]. ... No paper, no string, no cellotape. ...

[Interviewer:] Rubber?

[Dimtry Peskov:] No, rubber's out .. Um, They've got to have a steering wheel. There's a minimum crew requirement

[Interviewer:] What's the minimum crew?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Oh... one, I suppose.

[Interviewer:] So, the allegations that they are just designed to carry as many missiles as possible and to hell with the consequences, I mean that's ludicrous...

[Dimtry Peskov:] Ludicrous, absolutely ludicrous. These are very, very strong vessels

[Interviewer:] So what happened in this case?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, the bottom fell off in this case by all means, but that's very unusual.

[Interviewer:] But Mr. Peskov, why did the bottom bit fall off?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, an anti-ship missile hit it.

[Interviewer:] An anti-ship missile hit it?

[Dimtry Peskov:] An anti-ship missile hit the warship.

[Interviewer:] Is that unusual?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Oh, yeah... At war? Chance in a million.

[Interviewer:] So what do you do to protect the crewmen in cases like this?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Well, the cruiser was flooded to put out the fire

[Interviewer:] Flooded and sank...

[Dimtry Peskov:] No, no, no. it's been flooded, it did not sink

[Interviewer:] Yeah, but it went underwater

[Dimtry Peskov:] No, it's filled with water, it's not underwater. It's not in the sea.

[Interviewer:] Well, what's in the seas?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Nothing's in the sea...

[Interviewer:] Well there must be something in the sea.

[Dimtry Peskov:] There is nothing out there... all there is - is water... and birds... and fish

[Interviewer:] And?

[Dimtry Peskov:] And 500 dead crewmen

[Interviewer:] And what else?

[Dimtry Peskov:] And 8,000 blown up missiles

[Interviewer:] And anything else?

[Dimtry Peskov:] And the part of the warship that the bottom fell off, but there's nothing else out there.

[Interviewer:] Dimtry Peskov, thanks for joining us.

[Dimtry Peskov:] It's a complete void

[Interviewer:] Yeah, we're out time

[Dimtry Peskov:] The war's perfectly safe. .... We're out of time?.. Can you book me a cab?

[Interviewer:] But didn't you come in a FSB car?

[Dimtry Peskov:] Yes, I did, but-

[Interviewer:] What happened?

[Dimtry Peskov:] The bottom fell off